I Saw Your Aunt today
03.13.08
I saw your aunt today
it was from a distance
I sat looking through the holly tree this morning
looking for hope
looking for comfort
wondering if you might be looking for the same
and there she was
she was beautiful
Scarlet, radiant,
perfectly satisfied with where she found herself
she watched me
her dance spoke of life
she paused, then flew
I saw her from a distance
I saw her and thought of you
Anstey on Mar. 13 2008 edit · delete There's an interesting slightly stalkery feel to this. I'm not a fan of the exclamation point in L8. The 'scarlet' ... I also wonder about, is she drunk? Is this a surrealist sort of image? In L12, I think you could delete the word 'words' -- it'd tighten that up a bit. I do think the repetitions generally work here, and the end-line is also pretty cool.
Jen on Mar. 13 2008 edit · delete What I go from this is that the aunt passed away and visited you as a scarlet bird and made you think of your friend. I'm probably wrong but I like this anyway:)
Beautifulwarrior on Mar. 15 2008 edit · delete Thanks for your input, both of you! This writing was from a conversation with a friend who shared with me that their deceased aunt visits when hope or comfort is needed.
